December 2010
29 posts
I had such a great time with him today. I didn’t want it to end. Boo. Time flies so fast.
One more day and out with 2010. It’s going to be a new year. A new start for me. To be honest, it’s not that easy to just get on with life and forget my past. But I have this strong gut feeling that it’ll all be worth it in the end. But I feel so scared. Why do I feel this scared?...
I guess the drama might drive him away. However I am not really bothered by it because to me, it isn’t drama. It’s life. Maybe, just maybe, he still has alot to learn about life.
I am a girl who thinks alot about it. And I take every situation seriously because I’m a realist that way. I don’t like running away from things even though sometimes it seems like the best thing...
Nothing else matters except you. This is all very new to me, and to you. We still have alot to learn from each other.
Whatever it is, I hope you won’t get driven away by these things that are foreign to you. And I hope you won’t compare. Because the feeling of being compared sucks big time. Big time.
I can treat you like you’re the best guy in the world, which I silently...
Totally loving the polar bear. I love it. Most importantly, I love you.
It don’t matter where we are, as long as he’s there with me, I’m quite contended. But I do miss those times though, when he was more free to spare his time for me. But then again, I do not want to be selfish.
As the days pass, how I feel just gets stronger by the minute. And as much as I know that he hates being too in love or hearing sweet things, I can’t deny the fact...
So the boyfriend is coming back in a few hours’ time. God help me. I don’t know how I am supposed to handle this.
Met a best friend earlier at Macdonalds. And after listening to my story.. Well what can I say, he knows me best. He truly does. He’s seen every possible state that I could have possibly been in. And was never away when I needed a listening ear.
And he’s...
Have faith.
Fuck, I just entered somewhere new. I'm in love...
Time Will Tell
Everytime I’m with you, I really don’t feel like it’s enough. If this is really the case, I don’t know what’ll happen if I actually stopped seeing you.
I know I have to make a decision fast, because having the best of both worlds is too selfish and it doesn’t last. I am only one person. And I am well aware of that. I just don’t know what to do.
1. Safe...
All the studying is wearing me out. I should be sleeping by now, but well what can I say, I’m a vampire ^__^
On a side note,
It’s been a few days since we last met and I miss him.. Quite alot, actually. As somewhat happy as I am feeling right now, somehow, something deep in me tells me that it’ll all just be shortlived.
I ask myself why, but I guess some things just...
3 am Conversations
Me: I feel bad uh, if I were to leave him. He did cheat on me, but I think he's changed.
Her: Remember what you told me, that people don't change? They change only if they come across a new person, then only they'll be able to learn from the old and really change for the new.
Me: Okay. What if people judge me then?
Her: Then ask them this, if you thought you found someone who was the right one and then overtime you realize that you feel empty, would you want to remain empty? Would you just stay that way and brush aside the other thing that comes along which makes you feel far more contended?
Me: Hmm.
Her: If our hearts are feeling empty, it is only right to feel it with contentment. If you think he makes you feel that way, as selfish as it may seem, fuck it. You need to be happy. In the end it's what you feel that matters.
Me: Okay.
Her: Sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind.
Me: Omg, that sounds too familiar.
You Can Plan A Pretty Picnic, But You Can't...
Life has been pretty much hectic. With exams, and also, I’m still trying to adapt to the difference in between the months of how I’ve lead my life this year in 2010.
January, drinking everyday with one of my best friends, drinking our sorrows away. And I was doing that because of a 4 year on and off relationship that was on the rocks due to the abusiveness of the relationship that I...
I’m a good person. I really am. You just don’t know it yet because how we met, was from a totally different context. It was in the context of the ‘thrill’ and having ‘fun’, so of course you wouldn’t know who I really am.
I’m enjoying myself everytime I’m with you. Who would have thought, ey? From the start up until now.
Expect the unexpected....
You’re stealing my heart away. Everyday, these feelings just pile up.
I hate seeing you sad.
I wonder what the difference is between infatuation and love. How is it possible that I can feel for more than one person? It makes me more confused. The more I think about it, the more screwed up I kind of feel. Because I didn’t see this coming.
I’m feeling more for the new person. Much more. And it’s not because he’s a novelty. It’s the connection. It feels so...
I love it when we’re gazing into each other’s eyes.
Makes me smile just to think about it :)
You know the song Dilemma by nelly? That’s for you. It goes something like..
No matter what I do,
All I think about is you.
Even when I’m with my boo (boyfriend in nigger language),
Boy you know I’m crazy over you.
Damn right bout that.
:) :) :) Viber is so cool.
From someone so random. He’s the first that has managed to surface from all the clutter of boys and become prominent and a priority in my life. Amazing. I don’t see why girls wouldn’t want to be with someone like that.
The notion of “like”. And “falling for someone”. I’m feeling somewhere in between. Maybe closer to the latter.
2.58am
I don’t know why I like him so much. Just a day of not seeing him makes me miss him so much. I thought I was a cheating pig by nature since all the boys seem to suck real bad. But I feel like I can be a better person if he really were to be someone more prominent than he already is now. I know I can. Because he’s really great, I can’t think of one good reason why a girl would...
Can’t wait to see him later.
:)
"Remember, nothing can happen and will ever...
— HF.
If things really do happen for a reason, I’d like to know why we had to meet at such a timing that sucks.
“Who’s that boy last night with her? I think he’s quite cute.”
– Mom. HAHAHA. Yeah, he is.
Someone Awesome
Decided to use a Tumblr instead of Blogspot. So scratch that!
Anyways, it is already December and 2011 is coming.
And this year, I met someone awesome. Too awesome to be true, maybe. Because it is only the starting. So things aren’t messy, yet.
I don’t know what it is that I’m feeling, but I like him alot.
And that’s that. So what, right? Nothing can happen. But...